Funny Questions & Answers

Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.

Q. What do you call a Serbian prostitute?
A. Sloberdown Mycockyoubitch.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q. How can you tell the porno star at the gas station?
A. Just as the gas starts up the hose, he pulls out the nozzle and sprays the gas all over the car.

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it. (ignore this one newly weds ;)

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What does Popeye do to keep his favourite tool from rusting?
A. Sticks it in Olive Oyl.

Q. What did the lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
A. They're right! We do taste like chicken!

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A. What are YOU shaking for? She's going to eat me!

Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes

Q: How are women and rocks alike?
A: You skip across the flat ones.

Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: When you lay a brick, it doesn't follow around for two weeks whining.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow.

Q. What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q: Why don't men fake orgasm?
A: Cos no man would pull those faces on purpose.

Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's'nipples for ?
A. Its Braille for "suck here".

Q. Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
A. Because most men are stupid but few are blind.

Q. Why do women have tits
A. So men will talk to them.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch