That reminds us of the guy who bragged to his friends that he ruled the roost. Unfortunately, his wife rules the rooster.
What happened when a frustrated homeowner stuck his garden hose into one of the numerous mounds in his backyard? He made a fountain out of a molehill.
A young woman was traveling with her infant son on a train when a man walking down the aisle abruptly halted in front of her, did a double take, and exclaimed, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." The woman burst into tears, and the conductor who heard her crying tried to console her. "Don't worry about what inconsiderate people have to say; they're just being uncouth. Here, here's a banana for your monkey."
What is a mosquito's favorite hobby? Skin diving.
Why did Walt Disney's famous rodent have only one girlfriend? Because Mickey was monogamouse.
A man didn't have any cheese to put in his mousetrap, so he cleverly cut out a picture of cheese and used that as bait instead. The next day, the man saw with satisfaction that the trap had been triggered. In the trap was a picture of a mouse.
A farmer who was bothered by marauding snakes wrote a note to the city zoo: "Please tell me how I could acquire a pair of mongeese." The word didn't seem right, so he wrote another note: "Please tell me how I could acquire a pair of mongooses." By then, neither word seemed right, so he wrote: "Please tell me how I could acquire a mongoose and a second one to keep the first one company."